Lost
Did I lose you or did I lose myself?
A breakup hits harder on the weekend.
God save you if it’s a long weekend.
When there’s no work to distract you, no colleagues to keep you company, no friends to meet for a quick coffee.
Yes, you may distract yourself for a few hours with a passion project like I did today morning by working on my book. Yes, you may get lost in Netflix for a bit like I’ve been drenched in Game of Thrones for a few days now. You may giggle at your phone while scrolling through reels.
But ultimately, the loneliness finds you like a deep cave you’re not allowed to escape.
You’ll text a friend or two but they’re busy with their families. It’s worse because you don’t share a good relationship with yours.
Your family was your partner. But somehow they’ve built a new one while you lay on your bed with a paused show, open windows, lying on your bed staring at the blue sky outside wondering, ‘How, god how, will this ever get better?’
You have a mood board on Pinterest named healing era. It has pictures of everything you want your life to look like. Friends, nights out, travelling, clothes you want to wear, places you want to see, things you want to do.
